How I Stopped Hating Money!
First Published October 2013 – Updated November 2020
For more than 15 years I was “the Abundant Mystic.” Running those big tele summits, leading online classes, coaching hundreds of private clients, bringing dozens of people to Hawaii for our annual retreat… all of that provided me with wonderful opportunities to look deeply at the remaining abundance blocks hiding in my subconscious mind.
There’s a saying “Teach what you most need to learn.” For most of my years as the Abundant Mystic that’s exactly what I was doing. It wasn’t until quite close to the end of my official time as the Abundant Mystic that I felt like I was, finally, teaching what I was actually living.
One of the big breakthroughs came when I had the opportunity to look at a lingering and tenacious abundance block. It was actually an attitude I had towards money that was working under the surface of my awareness to keep money away.
It was a feeling of hatred towards money. Now that may sound strong, but it came from a very profound experience that happened a LONG time ago and has managed to stay hidden but still active within the core of my being.
This hatred towards money came bubbling up into my awareness when my biological mother, grandmother and brother came to visit for my daughter’s 10th birthday.
Whenever my bio mom comes it’s an opportunity for me to peel another layer of the onion of my belief systems, to let go of what is ready to be released and open to what is ready to be awakened within me.
During that particular visit I was preparing for one of the The Abundant Mystic Telesummits. So the energy of abundance and money along with the beliefs that I hold about them were very much alive for me. It was only natural that any old beliefs or attitudes in that arena would come up.
Sure enough, in the midst of all of that, I tapped into a deep-rooted hatred of money, a dark place inside me that hates money and wants to have nothing to do with it.
Where does this hatred come from?
When I first met my biological mom, when I was 23, I asked her – as I imagine all adoptees do – why she gave me up for adoption. The reason she gave me was money!
She was a young, single, pregnant woman, at a time and in a family and society where being a single mom was definitely NOT OK! And even if she wanted to keep me she deeply believed she wouldn’t have enough money to raise me on her own. Moving back in with her parents or living on welfare were not viable options for her.
So, I “cooked” in that stew of “NOT ENOUGH” – along with a bunch of other ingredients that have also required deep healing! And, on a core energetic and even cellular level I internalized a belief that money was the cause of our separation. To that part of me, money was the reason that I was taken away from my mother. That part of me has held onto the anger, resentment and hatred towards money all of these years, blaming it for my separation from mother. Only natural, then, that I would work so hard to keep money out of my life!
Now, obviously, something you hate is not something you are going to be very excited to attract more of. So while I (the conscious part of my mind) was doing everything “right” to attract more money and step fully into the realm of the Abundant Mystic, that energy of hatred towards money was doing everything it could to block the flow of money into my life.
This is a perfect example of why the Law of Attraction and other manifestation methods don’t always work. When you have deep-rooted, subconscious beliefs that are working at cross-purposes to your vision and intentions, the subconscious beliefs almost always win!
It’s said that our conscious minds are like the tip of the iceberg, comprising about 10% of our total consciousness. That means that as much as 90% of our consciousness is hidden from our awareness and working from the shadows. If the conscious you (10%) wants to go one way and the subconscious you (90%) wants to go another way, guess which way you’re going to go!
So how do you shift your subconscious beliefs and energy?
There are many simple, powerful tools and techniques that can shift, transform and even transmute the contradictory subconscious beliefs and energy. In this case, I chose to work with the simple but powerful Ho’oponopono technique, an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. In this practice you repeat four simple phrases while holding an image of the person or thing you seek to forgive (and seek forgiveness from) in your mind. This process brings about a sense of forgiveness, peace, harmony and love within you and others. You can use this process in your relationships with other people, things, experiences, beliefs… anything that you feel holds some “stuck” energy for you.
Even if you don’t feel an energy of “hatred” towards money, if you are not experiencing as much abundance in your life as you would like, try this process with the energy of money. Here’s how.
First center yourself and call up an image or symbol of money. Hold that image in your mind while you repeat the following phrases:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Repeat those words as many times as needed to bring a deeper sense of peace and harmony. After a few repetitions you will notice your body relaxing as you come into a deeper more open connection with the energy of money.
You can do this as many times as you want.
It worked for me. Soon after that healing process the Abundant Mystic business started to thrive. Seeing, owning, embracing and letting go of that hatred of money by using this powerful forgiveness technique made a BIG difference in my ability to start living as an Abundant Mystic.
It can work for you too!
Go ahead and give it a try and let me know what you notice. Leave a comment on the blog post here.